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35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything so horrible and terrifying in my life. I always thought that the purpose of a playground was to motivate children to play outside. To do this, you want to encourage creativity and nurture happiness. The designers of these playgrounds clearly had something else in mind. I fear for the children whose only option is to frolic among these morbid and disgusting atrocities. If I ever saw children exposed to monstrosities such as these, I think I’d be forced to call child protective services.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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1. Fish Food: Just pretend you’re a worm and hang out in that fish’s mouth. It’s good for the imagination.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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2. Bad Clown: Really, what’s going on here?

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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3. Head In Rear: Maybe this is where dad got his famous line, “Go outside and pull your head out of your ….” I think you get the point.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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4. Rock Hard Climbing Wall: Good luck reaching the bell at the tip, I mean top, of this climbing wall.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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5. Creepy Tree Being: Probably the most horrifying tree house I’ve seen.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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6. Witch: She be poppin’ out of playgrounds, snatchin’ up yo’ children.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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7. Creepy Green Eyed Guy: There is something about the green eyes and evil unibrow watching your children play that’s a little unsettling.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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8. Dead Octopus:

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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9. Pig Juggs: It’s not the fat pig that’s bothering me, it’s the prominence of the nipples and the exposure.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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10. Giant Rat Trap:

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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11. The Jack in the Box Gets To Relax: It appears that there’s a forced stop in Uncle Jack’s lap. That’s not okay.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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12. The Animals Are On Drugs: Let this serve as a reminder that you should always hire professional artists to paint children’s playthings. You don’t want your happy critters to look this strung out.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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13. Guy Slide: Okay. We’re going to play hide and seek. You go hide your face between the slides and count to ten, then come find us. I’m not playing.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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14. Snail Bars: What is this? I’m seeing monkey bars with a twist… and an expert level of difficulty.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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15. Horrified House Slides: Totally looks like panic-stricken homes are being violated.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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16. Evolution?: I can’t even begin to understand where the logic comes from on this. Seriously, someone please explain it to me.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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17. Disturbing Doctor: Tiny mouth with creepy teeth, giant needle or maybe a thermometer. Nope, I have no idea why the kids are afraid of the doctor.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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18. Three Creepy Little Pigs: I guess this one is teaching the kids to play the bad guy once in a while. By the looks of things, they’ve absolutely terrified the pigs with their big bad wolf impersonation.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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19. Tongue Slide: If this is supposed to be the elephant’s trunk, you’re totally doing it wrong.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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20. Giant Bug: What is with the teeth and mouths on these things?

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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21. Crazy Praying Mantis: Six or eight legs, four arms, a few 5 gallon water jugs, big eyes and creepy teeth. Yeah, the kids will love it.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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22. Genghis Khan: Really? Who thought Genghis Khan would be a fun playground playmate?

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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23. Devil’s Mouth: It’s okay honey, Satan’s not really here for your soul. He’s just misunderstood.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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24. Beheaded Frog: Where’d the head go? I bet that creepy guy ate it.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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25. Tortured Giant:Go play in that buried guy’s mouth. Just watch out for the red ants and scorpions.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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26. Satan’s Merry Go Round: Who doesn’t want to get sickeningly dizzy while staring a demon in the face?

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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27. Tetanus Hazard: Sharp pieces of corroded steel have no place on a playground.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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28. Abandoned Water Park: I hope it’s an abandoned water park. Either that, or it’s a carnie daycare center gone wrong.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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29. Swing From A Noose: I can’t see this one ending well.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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30. Alien Altar: I didn’t know aliens had tails. They sure did make quick work of decapitating that giant stone woman.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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31. Evil Sorcerer: And you thought bears were scary.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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32. Fat Pig: I can’t help but think about horror films when I see a random pig head, but whatever floats your boat.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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33. Creepy Sculptures: You got the giant hands, teeter totter on the pig’s wood, or the creepy dude from Saw. Choices, choices, choices.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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34. Creepy Monkey or Sad Teletubby: I’m not sure of the intent, but I’m saying they missed the mark.

35 Disturbing Playgrounds That You Should Never Take Your Kids To
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35. Exit The Elephant: No kid, don’t go back up there.

No wonder we can’t get the kids to go outside and play anymore. With playground structures like these, your children are destined to have lengthy psychiatric bills and extensive emotional scarring. I mean, teaching your kids that life isn’t all sunshine and flowers is one thing, but exposing them to these horrors is quite another. What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments.

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