In my more athletic days, I thought I was quite the limber fellow. Well, come to find out, my version of flexibility was but a drop in the bucket compared to the elastic abilities of these people. The following photos exhibit human beings that are so freakishly flexible that I went from a state of amazement to being downright fearful that they had been victims of a demonic possession. This is a fair warning. While some of these individuals are a beautiful specimen of athletic ability, others will leave you fumbling for the phone to call an exorcist.
1. 250 Degree Dancer: If the perfect splits are 180 degrees, my guess is that this split is around 250 degrees. OUCH!
2. Beach Body Bender: Holy cow. My back hurts just looking at this picture. I really gotta say nice form!
3. Cheerleading Stunt: This takes a great deal of skill and athleticism, not to mention bravery and trust.
4. Dislocated Hip: OMG. I can almost hear her hip popping out-of-place. This one made me a little queasy.
5. Flexing On The Phone: You know, she is just chillin’, checking her text messages and stuff. Nothing to see here.
6. Handstand Human Chair: Absolutely unnatural in so many ways. How can a person bend like that without seriously damaging their body?
7. His And Hers Flex: Anything you can do, I can do better! Challenge accepted.
8. Human Spider: Yep. I used to think spiders were creepy. That is, until I saw the human spider. That’s not right.
9. Performer Having Tea And Soup: Okay, it is bad enough that she can bend like this, but now she is going to use the spoon with her toes? That cannot be comfortable or sanitary.
10. Ripped Flexible Guy: What the… Is this guy related to Jean-Claude Van Damme?
11. He Sits On His Own Shoulders: Wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up your butt and fight for air? Listen kid, don’t pay attention to those people. They were just being mean. You’ll always have a job opportunity at the circus sideshow, so you’ve got that going for you.
12. Spin Dip: No, it’s not your favorite appetizer. The spin dip is this girls new dance move.
13. Spin Top Soda: The spin top was supposed to be a reference to the soda bottle. This guy clearly misunderstood.
14. Splits And A Whip: I think this young lady’s got springs in her hips.
15. Splits With A Twist: Looks like do it yourself chiropractic practices. Do not try this at home.
16. Super Split Pose: This is a stretch that would make Gumby jealous. For us ‘real people’, it just makes us search for the joint and muscle cream.
17. There Are No Words: Standing splits to a doubled over, half inverted. What the crap is going on here? Can someone verify that this girl is actually human, please?
18. They See Me Rollin’: I’ve seen a street performer doing this in Las Vegas. It wasn’t right then, and it isn’t right now. I mean, who really strives to become a human tire?
19. Upside Down Ballet: I don’t care which way you rotate this picture, it’s still not going to look right.
20. Wall Back Bend: Something’s gotta give. I’m thinking it’s going to be about half of her vertebrae. OUCH.
I don’t know about you, but after seeing these images, I just hurt. I don’t know if I need to go to a chiropractor or get a full body massage. What I do know is this. I need to get these images out of my head so I can sleep tonight without writhing in pain at the thought of these contortionist feats.