There is nothing more hilarious than someone who is trying to act cultured and pretend to be a great world traveler. I met a girl a long time ago that was just this type of person. She was so proud of her new kanji tramp stamp tattoo and exuded the most obnoxious air of being cultured that it almost made me sick. Finally, I decided to humor her and asked if I could check out her prided new tattoo. I have a bit of an artistic background and greatly appreciate good tattoos. This, however, was not one of them. The lines were thick, scarred and blown out. That wasn’t the worst part. I looked for a moment, laughed to myself, and asked her what it meant. “This,” she said with overwhelming arrogance, “is the Japanese Kanji symbol for LOVE.” I responded with a simple, “Oh, is that what they told you?” Now, I really wish that the story was something hilarious like the tattoo artist was being mean to the stupid white girl, but no… It was the tattoo artist that was stupid and he put the Kanji on backwards. Love = evol – What’s the difference, right? The following funny asian t-shirt’s are deserving of a similar placement on the pedestal of stupidity. The translation from English to another language is a difficult feat, and as is human nature… we love to laugh at other people’s difficulties.
1. Try My Delicious Salt Beef:
Salt beef? What? Are they talking about jerky? Sounds like they were listening to pick up lines from a frat-house balcony.
Technically this one is accurate.
3. Round Eyed LAD:
What’d you call me? I think this shirt is trying to say something like, ‘Hey, White boy! Don’t be afraid. Look at me, LOOK AT ME!’
4. Pleasing To The Ears:
Rough translation… This brawd is UGLY! Might as well have a shirt that says she’s a ‘sweet spirit.’
5. World Difference Execute:
What in the world is this supposed to mean? Did they misinterpret a shirt that said ‘New World Order’?
No lady, actually you are sitting on the subway.
7. I’m SO F**king Future:
I am unsure if his future is F’d, or if he’s saying that his future is bright.
8. Have You Ever Seen A Beautiful Sunrise:
There is absolutely no reason to waste your time reading this shirt. The important part is the motorcycle, and ACTION. What this means is that having a motorcycle will get you action. Everything else that’s written is irrelevant.
9. If It Eats The Fruit, It Becomes Very Energetic:
And I guess that it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Something’s not right here!
10. Hello Moose Cluo:
It’s the generic version of the Mickey Mouse Club! Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog!
11. Mistakes Peaple’s Make:
Some people’s Kids! How dare they make mistakes.
12. It Is Only Of Reative Funny:
Do they mean it’s only relatively funny? Is that like a ‘ha’ or ‘lol’ vs an ‘LMFAO’ or ‘LSHIDMTAMSFO’? (you might want to Google that last one)
13. Boisterous Laughter:
For the gutsy team that shows a lot of spunk… I’ve only got one thing to say, ‘If you’re not first, you’re last!’
14. Now Let’s Begin, Shall We?:
All I can think about this one is that it’s relating to a cheesy pick up line that ends something like, ‘enough of the small talk, let’s go back to my place.’ Or maybe I’m way off base with this one. Who knows?
15. Loving You:
Give it your best and you’ll still get kicked in the teeth. I’m starting to think there is no place for Hallmark cards in all of Asia.
16. Be Full Of Dream:
Dream on, you don’t have anything she wants. What a defeating shirt.
17. What Attracts Pubic Favor Is Amenities:
Pubic favor? Amenities? This has got to be a poorly worded misrepresentation of the ‘Ask me about my little weiner’ shirts.
18. Best Smile Again:
Why would you stop in the first place?
19. Take Good Care Of Uterus:
Well, that’s definitely a good trait that I look for in my women.
20. Born To Fist:
Look, I don’t care what you do on your free time, but let’s just not go around advertising it. OK?
21. Do You Eat Me?:
That’s awfully forward. I mean, sheesh, at least buy me dinner first!
22. I’m Cock:
Well, then. I am quite curious about what the fine print says. I don’t think cock means what they think it means.
23. He Loves The Cock:
He loves it. She loves it. Everybody loves it! I’ll never understand those couples that choose to wear the matching clothes.
24. You Should See My Balls:
Oddly enough a shirt advertising someone with both tits and balls is not the most disturbing part of this photo. Where the hell are this kids’ parents and why are they letting him wear a shirt like this?
25. Fart Sexy Style:
I think the only fart that is sexy is the one that never happened!
26. Can I Put My Thingie In Your Thingie?:
This one just officially made the list of pick up lines that you should never use again in your life!
27. What’s So F**k Then:
WSFT… I guess that’s kind of like a WTF. I know WTF is what I was thinking when I read the shirt.
28. The Person:
This is a prime example of someone hitting random letters while typing the design of a shirt.
29. OMG So Hipster:
Texas State is a triangle? Holy cow. That’s like illuminati action, right there!
30. The Baby Wore The Clown:
Clowns are creepy enough on their own, but this shirt makes me imagine a clown skin suit. That’s a whole lot of NOPE!
31. Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar:
Was the MOTHERF**KER really necessary? I guess that’s the only way that this guy can make his chocolate bar truly hard-core!
32. Juicy On My Ass:
She’d rather have Juicy… Okay. Rather have Juicy than What??? Juicy what? I need a little more information, please.
33. Think Less, Stupid More:
I think this is the mantra for that entire generation! I can’t brain today, I got the dumb!
34. I Want Beard Your Sexy:
I know you want my sexy beard, but I have news for you… Your shirt is just showing a mustache.
35. Crap Your Hands:
It’s the ‘Cupid Shuffle’! Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap your hands!
36. Water On The Thirstry Soil:
With as often as I am seeing ‘Blood On The Dance Floor ‘ shirts, this one’s not really that far out there!
37. Color Me Gangster:
Green is for gangsta. Don’t you know it!
Throughout my years in the design world, I have seen a lot of funny grammatical and spelling errors that changes the intended message, but these ones take the cake. There’s something about translating slogans into another language, and then translating them back that just makes for a series of hilarious photos. I have to admit, there are a few of these incredible shirts that I would love to find and add to my collection of inappropriate and offensive shirts.