I love going to the pet store. I get to wander up and down the aisles looking at different types of animals that will never make it inside my home. My husband is terrified of snakes and I am absolutely disgusted by rodents. Yes, we could get a fish, but that would mean our cat would end up having a dinner on us while making a huge mess. I do try to avoid the pet store when I see that they are having a pet adoption event because I know I will end up taking a cute little puppy home. But when you are at the pet store looking at animals, have you ever paid attention to their description cards? I mean, I look at the description cards, but I don’t read into them too much. After seeing what comedian Jeff Wysaski did though, I will be paying a whole lot more attention! These are absolutely hilarious and I can’t believe how much time and effort went into pulling off this pet store prank.
Baby Godzilla Lizard – This may be the best description of a lizard I’ve ever seen in a pet store. I’ll definitely take one of these if they are great for toasting marshmallows.
Baby Creeper’s Python – This snake would totally look cool wrapped around a katana sword. That is, until it eats your face!
Invisible Jenny – I like that he’s even laughing at his own jokes. Now you know he had a great time pulling off this prank. I bet Jenny would look good in a tiny sweater.
Gym Rat – Get it? Well this rat never skips leg day and it’s adult size is ripped. Maybe it should just stay in the cage. We don’t need a bunch of rats hopped up on steroids running around.
Fieri Hamster – How funny would it be if this hamster actually was super annoying and “in your face”. I can promise you that it wouldn’t make me like it anymore.
Judgmental Tree Frog – Ever feel like your pets are judging you? Well this one definitely is. You can tell by the look on its face.
Haitian Voodoo Death Bird – I am kind of thinking Jeff Wysaski might have a bit of a bird phobia. This Voodoo Death Bird won’t do much else other than copy every word you say.
Regular Boring Normal Turtle – This is the description I need when I take the kids to the pet store and they want a turtle. No, they don’t do anything other than sit and stink. And Jeff made a good point – they aren’t teenaged, they aren’t mutant, they’re not ninjas, and they do not fight crime. Really, what is the point?
The amount of time Jeff Wysaski put into this pet store prank is pretty commendable! I wonder how long it took before someone realized what they were reading. I might be more likely to add to my growing brood of animals if they all came with descriptions like this. I think adoption centers should follow suit, just to keep the humor going. Who knows, maybe people would be more likely to adopt an animal if it came with a hilarious description.